I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
