How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
