By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
