You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize