If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
