Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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