I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
