wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
