is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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