you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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