He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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