her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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