you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
