How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
