Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
