Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize