I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
