People in love make me want to vomit
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize