dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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