Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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