I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
