The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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