i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
