I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
