a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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