You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
