my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
