You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
