How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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