she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
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