Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Randomize
