God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
