Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
