I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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