Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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