I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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