i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize