I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
