so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
