What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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