Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
either way he was missing a nipple.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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