If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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