I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
