The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
