We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
