In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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