"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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