I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
