She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
