You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Randomize
