My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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