If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I did not marry a roomba.
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