Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
