my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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