I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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