My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Every concussion has its silver lining
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
