Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
