Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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