I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
