i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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