i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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