I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
