Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
