I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
